Married and Navigating Jewish Life

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Posts Tagged ‘Flatbush

Great post about Ashkenazim going against Kitniyos…essentially ‘why do we have these chumras’

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Frum Satire has this great article with a few commenters bringing in links to show that people where this has been happening.

Honestly; too bad this wouldn’t be a trend.

Around here in Flatbush its the tendency to go more for the chumras than it is for going with just pure halacha. Of course maybe I shouldn’t talk, in my family we don’t even eat gebraks. Why don’t we? Because this is what we do. Maybe if we lived in an area where there was NO ONE doing it perhaps we would break down and do it because not going to not allow us to go over to other houses for Yom Tov – that would make it a horrible Yom Tov and I don’t feel that a minhag should ruin a Yom Tov.

However since we know plenty of people in Flatbush that do keep non-grebaks well..this is what we are doing.

Honestly chumras are currently breaking the communities into fragments. Or making people resentful of Rabbis. Or just making people into blind walking sheep.

Honestly, why isn’t an Eruv made by the same Rav who approves the Boro Park Eruv that Flatbush people use not Kosher?

How is there a good, kosher, upper east side eruv and none in the lower east side?

Why aren’t there are least mini Eruvs in Flatbush?

How come Rabbis won’t come out with a definitive by the book halachas for married people?

Why are people completely blind to abuses among our children and married people?

Why do divorces need to wait for weeks or months because Rabbis don’t want to convene their courts?

The list goes on…and many times they hide it all behind the idea that ‘this is what we say because this is the law’

It isn’t the law when it’s a chumra. Chumras are supposed to be accepted by people not forced upon them.


Written by frombrooklyn

April 17, 2009 at 11:10 AM

We are reminded of the generation that is supposed to be rude to their elders…and it got us thinking

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So this popped into our heads.

We always thought it was the kids being disrespectful to elders. The cursing, the ignoring of valid rules, the pushing of youth independence was to be that.

However, we always thought that was somewhat normal – society had placed artificial barriers around youth who a hundred years ago would of already been married and working.

So, we had this thought.

The rudeness is meant to be us VS the Rabbis

Seriously, think this out.

How many of you respect the Ravs now? Or wish to truly listen to them? Do you honestly agree with their opinions? Their feelings about what is correct? That they use their own feelings to ‘make halacha’ as they see fit? What about the Flatbush Eruv? Strictness of Mikvah when it isn’t needed? Uneducated masses in terms of bedroom 101? The Yeshivas unable to provide a proper education in both Hebrew and English Subjects? The failings of the Kollel Lifestyle? The eliteness shown by the Yeshivish Community? The list unfortunately goes on and on.

We need to remember as we enter this new year that we need to respect Jews as a Jew. We need to remember that you need to find a Rav you respect and knows you and follow him. Don’t go with the crowd. Don’t feel pushed to follow everyone else. Know who you are inside, what your level is, and a Rav that equals that.

Written by frombrooklyn

October 2, 2008 at 11:23 PM

Parenting 101: Why are parents paying for their children’s lives after marriage? Our experience so far in apt hunting

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We are looking to move, as are several of our friends. We have outgrown our small but nice apartment and have been looking for a nice 2 or 3 bedroom to look into. We both have decent jobs, our parents do not support us and many of our friends do not have that luxury where their parents can help them even when they started off their marriage. Though we can be truthful in stating that the majority of our friends are not in Kollel so maybe that is why they aren’t being supported.

So as we have been to several apartments and really…we are kind of shocked. We didn’t go to many 2 bedrooms (they were too small) so we really looked heavily and went out of our way to check out 3 bedroom ones. When we got there we had been told that they had several people already looking at their apt (not surprising, 3 bedrooms are at a premium in Flatbush in the 1600 – 1800 dollar range) and that they were learning towards the following types of people…..drumroll…chasson and kallahs.

And not just chasson and kallahs, ones whose husbands were primarily in Kollel.

So – basically, we were looking at apartments for our growing family, have a nice steady income, can easily pay the rent – and we were being beaten out by Chasson and Kallahs who were living off of Kollel incomes and were going to take a 3 bedroom now.

Now, we don’t mind if you can afford a 3 bedroom in the beginning and choose to get it. It’s the next comments from these many landlords that got us upset.

‘Parents have come with them or when they have called parents they have been given assurances that the rent will be paid by them because they are helping their children’

Now – that is upsetting. Why?

In the state of the current economy and with people needing to realize that the current Kollel System is unable to function effectively due to the economy and that parents are being pressured more and more to support their children in a kollel lifestyle…it used to be a Kollel Lifestyle meant you did without and you made what you had work. It didn’t mean that Emma and Abba were able to hand you money every month to cover your expenses.

Ten to twenty years ago Kollel Life was very different. Back them people realized you need to save money, that your parents shouldnt be forced to support you. Now? It’s expected. And it’s disgusting.

How are these parents training their kids for the future? That they can rely on an unending support financial? That’s insane because it will end sometime in the future. Eventually these families will have to depend only on their income and then what? How will they pay the bills? Tuition? Rent? Food? Government assistance can only do so much people.

Doesn’t it make more sense to take a smaller apartment and save the money? Put it into high yield CD accounts? Start saving up for those large tuitions and to buy a house in the future?

Written by frombrooklyn

August 20, 2008 at 5:26 PM