Married and Navigating Jewish Life

Blogging about marriage and relationships

Have an enjoyable Pesach everyone; maybe we’ll see you around with our kids :)

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It is one great thing that we do look forward to on Pesach, it’s being able to take the kids out together to somewhere fun. Most likely this year we will be going to the zoo and the aquarium. Personally, can’t wait to take them rollercoaster riding but that will be a few more years.

Hope everyone enjoys their Pesach. We loved shopping at Pomegranate – we honestly dont think we paid much more than other stores esp. when we are only shopping for 4 and maybe a few guests that will come over.

So enjoy 🙂

Written by frombrooklyn

April 7, 2009 at 10:33 PM

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Reading a post from Da’as Hedyot about a former Bais Yakkov girl who calls herself Roman Catholic now

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Reading a post from Da’as Hedyot about his interview with a woman named Sarah who used to be a Bais Yakkov girl and frum Jewish woman and not states she is a Roman Catholic.

It’s an interesting read and something that people should actually go ahead and read. It provides a good insight into why Jews turn away from Judaism.

Written by frombrooklyn

April 6, 2009 at 6:31 PM

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Is your Bais Yakkov girl ‘sexting’?

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There has been a lot of coverage in the mainstream media lately concerning the concept called Sexting.

What is Sexting?

It’s the idea of sending provocative pictures via text on cell phones. The concept is also combined by putting up suggestive pictures of yourself onto facebook, myspace, whimit, etc.

After working in several schools I have seen Jewish Boys and Girls both doing that type of pictures.

And this also applies to adults. There are whole groups online dedicated to sharing nude/suggestive pictures of jewish people online. This trend is accelerating as the internet gets more popular. Honestly it used to be more contained onto Israeli only forums (such as Hyde Park) but it has spread to other sections of the internet.

People; really one needs to realize that with the internet invading our lives even more you need to be more aware of your own boundaries of those of your children.

Well if you are an adult and want to share yourself/your wife online then that is your business but do you want your son and daughter doing the same?

It’s time to start being more responsible about what goes on behind the web browser.

Have a good Shabbas everyone!

Written by frombrooklyn

April 3, 2009 at 2:59 PM

Efforts to combat sex crimes within the Jewish Community in Brooklyn have been spurred forward by the Brooklyn DA Office in conjunction with Jewish Groups

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Newsday, through referring to the NY Daily News) is reporting that the Brooklyn DA office is working with religious leaders, therapists, etc to be able to combat the rise of sex crimes within the Jewish Community.

At the current count the DA says they are actively involved with 19 cases of reported sex crimes within the Jewish Community.

It’s great to see that such an active effort is being undertaken and that the DA is planning on having their teams go to schools and religious groups within the Jewish Community to be able to make people aware of how dangerous predators can be – at any age and with any gender I should hope.

Honestly I feel that they might focus too much on just the school issues, though it is a severe problem. However there are so many people, both men and women, who are being abused sexual that are not in the schools or for that fact are married!

They are opening a hotline for people to call in as well as having people come in for meetings and counseling.

Spread the word people

Written by frombrooklyn

April 1, 2009 at 1:18 PM

Excellent posts from two people about how secularism is invading the shidduch world

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Chanie writes an eloquent post on a letter by Rabbi Boteach concerning the values of the secular world overtaking the Jewish Shidduch World.

Both are excellent reads. Go to it!

Written by frombrooklyn

March 31, 2009 at 3:24 PM

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Huge jump in traffic last few days. Problem has to do with all the married trash going ahead and cheating.

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Given the fact that we actually know several married couples actively getting sep/divorced due to cheating and major marriage problems we are actually really upset about it all.

I think that the huge spike in interest in tefilin dates (which is why we got closest to 300 hits the last few days – each!)

Probably has a connection to what I saw on frumsatire concerning a site for frum people to find other people to get ‘laid’.

The problem is not what is going on about it but how did these problems come up? Why are these people doing these things to their spouses? Why are people cheating or swinging their way through an intimate act that should be between husband and wife?

It really is hard to judge some of these people so readily. Come on let us be realistic. If someone is in a horrible marriage do they not deserve some happiness? Some form of release from what they consider to be a prison of sorts?

A marriage shouldn’t be dead for half the time.

And that is where lays the problem.

Jewish people have this perverse need for the following concept – that divorce is horrible. That shidduch is the only way. That you just need to accept how people are in a marriage. That isn’t true!

Yes society might be influencing people. People might get caught up in addictions (sex, porn, drugs, etc) but that is only a tip of the true problem.

Honestly much of the frum world does not learn about marriage and sex until they are about to get married/married. This means you are learning as you go along. This shouldn’t be the case. Everyone needs to be knowledgeable about all aspects of marriage BEFORE they get married. They need to be given the time to actually understand and look into what they like and do not like.

As an example:

A bochur might of been raised that the wife does everything at home. Changes the babies, cleans, cooks, etc even if she works. It worked for his mother.

Now either he could marry a girl who agrees with it or he can end up with a girl who learned that marriage is more about shared obligation. She had a father who was much more involved, that cooked, changed diapers, etc. They NEVER discuss this between one another and why would they? Many couples do not discuss every day marriage life but focus on their backgrounds and likes and dislikes that are here today. They end up fighting constantly and have severe marriage problems because of their different outlooks.

OR

Take a guy is hates being naked. Doesn’t like to be seen even nude by anyone at all. He doesn’t even go to the mikvah. So when he gets married he goes very strict. The room is pitch black, he won’t show his wife anything, he fumbles around in bed, doesn’t bother to want to see her, etc. His wife on the other hand has no problem with wanting to show off her body. She is attracted to her husband and wants him to be attracted to her. His revulsion of being nude and showing himself off puts her off. She feels unattracted. However she has gotten pregnant and is having a kid. The rest of their marriage is somewhat okay but in the bedroom NOTHING is fine. She feels more rejected. She doesn’t get dressed up, doesn’t care about how the house looks, etc. Eventually their loves turns into…something that is a contract because of the kids than about how they really feel about one another.

Bottom line is that we know personally, with a dollop of liberal changing of the stories – that these things do happen.

Honestly when is the Jewish world going to learn that we need to find solutions to these problems instead of figuring how to bury it deeper.

Written by frombrooklyn

March 31, 2009 at 3:06 PM

New layout, going to revise blog list

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Decided that we actually like this layout. WordPress advertises this layout as a magazine type and it really is. It feels clean, uncluttered, and it shows the 3 most recent posts right there which is what we kinda like. We might switch it in the future but for now we feel its nice.

Oh yeah and posting from work has its advantages.

Written by frombrooklyn

March 31, 2009 at 2:32 PM

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