Married and Navigating Jewish Life

Blogging about marriage and relationships

So, we go away for vacation and what…seems everyone is snoozing too – well here’s our post for the wakeup call – we rant!

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Well we did expect that not a lot would go on around the internet while we were all eating matza but seems nothing has come up that is really shocking us into commenting.

BTW, our holiday was great.

The one thing we did notice is that our favorite forum seems to be under a lot of negative attack. People seem to think that moderators are not doing their jobs correctly which is pure rubbish. Do people know what it means to volunteer to be a moderator for somewhere? As someone who has vast experience with many different forums over the years it is daunting. Sometimes you aren’t on and ten new topics can come and go, and what should you do?

People don’t seem to realize that when someone volunteers for something and they have certain rules to follow, just because things aren’t deleted don’t mean they agree with it, it can mean that the time alloted to delete has passed due to too many people commenting on a topic.

Also, another item that is making both of us mad. Why do people constantly believe that their own religous beliefs, attitudes, ‘interpetations of halacha’, or their Rav make it okay to bash another Jew because they’re own (see above) Jewishness is completely different than their own.

It’s completely sad. People, the Torah has been dissected and interpeted many many many different ways. Just look at the difference between Chassidish and Yeshivish let alone any of the other orthadox branches. It’s time to actually set aside your own feelings when you go and visit forums that might contradict what you have learned. All you need to know is to keep to what you learned, if you are so weak willed as to be ‘turned’ and do not wish to do so, then don’t go there!

Also,  as another note from us, if you cannot stand what you read online, feel that you are being ‘corrupted’, you don’t like what you like, then why are you still online? Shut off the computer and stay away from the ‘corruption’.

Another feeling about these types of forums that people are talking about sex too much or discussing too many intimate marriage ideas. Now, I can see the argument, however many people don’t realize how many Jews live in repression inside their marriages. Couples feel that due to the religiousness they follow sex in marriage = severe restrictions. Now, it is all dependent on who you learn from, however many couples out there want to actually learn about the full rainbow of what spouses can do instead of the black and white. Ravs do not go into details on what can be done, they just tell you the restrictions. The problem with learning about only restrictions if that you feel there are not any permissions at all. As a younger married couple with a kid now we are lucky to each have friends to talk to but not everyone is as lucky. It’s good to be able to have a place to actually say ‘oh there are other Jews who think the way we do’ or ‘Oh other Jews have the same problems!’. We aren’t just talking about sex positions we are talking about the full array of intimacy encounters between Husband and Wife. Can you see a Rav discussing the benefits of going shopping with your wife for lingerie or a Kallah Teacher telling the benefits of buying toys?

We totally agree that there are downsides to all these forums out there on the internet but people have to remember that there are positive upsides for many people.

We just want to end off on the following idea. “Do not condemn others because you do not agree or follow what they do.”


Written by frombrooklyn

April 12, 2007 at 5:18 AM

Posted in From us

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