Married and Navigating Jewish Life

Blogging about marriage and relationships

So on a board I frequent…my rant on Selfish Wives and the Men they are married to

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The topic was about Selfish Wives and how someone decided to condemn them because they refused to have sex with their husbands…oh and also stated that husbands have an uncontrolable urge to have sexual release and cannot help themselves.

*Rolls eyes and insert rant*

I find it laughable and completely immoral for you to place all men in the position of uncontrolable desires. I for one have full control over my desires, and when called upon to unleash I do so at my wife’s request.

Do you even realize the complex issues that go on when it comes to a married couple and their intimate lives? There are so many far reaching issues that can have devastating consequences for both parties. Just a few examples which can routinely make either spouse not wish to have sex

weight gain
too tired from work
too stressed out because of complex issues in life
children come first so late night = sleep not sex
deaths in the family
pain from having sex
no pleasure from sex
scared to have more children

And there are plenty more examples out there in relation to this problem of woman and even men not wishing to have sex.

How dare you even attempt to condemn these poor spouses when they might have real serious issues that need to be addressed. Iy’h I do pray that everyone that has problems with being intimate with their spouses get the help and support they need to over come them, but to condemn them outright is so blatently wrong, it reminds me of another thread on here where people were condeming a mother just because she wasn’t happy she was pregnant!

My gosh people, please go and make some coffee…open up your eyes and enter the real world. The world does not revolve around you, your ideas, your opinions, your thoughts, and your dreams. We are only travelers in this world and just like travelers in a new place its best to be polite, nice, and helpful to everyone around you.

We are of the opinion that it takes two to come together, to be able to be intimate, both sides wanting to give and recieve and if there is a problemt there then both of you need to help one another to overcome them. It isn’t something to condemn, ignore, browbeat, force the other to have sex just because you need your little orgasmic high before you go to bed because you just ‘need it to get through the next day’.

Part of marriage is having respect for your spouse and how you are stating that people with those issues should just put up and shut up is not about respect. It’s like an owner talking to a slave to come here and just let me use you for whatever work I need.


Written by frombrooklyn

March 7, 2007 at 3:48 PM

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