Married and Navigating Jewish Life

This post by Failed Messiah made me feel like I needed to post the following.

As an educator, I feel that it is the responsibility of teachers and schools to protect our children, just like the Public School system does for their children. Should we say that the goyim care about their children more than we care about ours? How many teachers are told not to go to social services? to the police? How many times will schools hide pedophiles and get away with it?

I support and endorse any and all actions that help root out the evil in our communities that will condemn and ban the people who will exploit and abuse others for their own sexual needs. And when I say ban I mean ban them from the entire Jewish Community around the world. Today is a global age. No one should be able to run to another community and set up shop once more because no one knows about him or her. (Yes her, because woman can be just as easily sexual abusing children, husbands, boyfriends.)

Some sites that are trying to shine a light on the growing problem. Now just because I post the sites here doesn’t mean I always endorse the methods that they do in order to get results, however, I do enjoy reading the sites and I do think that in the end they are doing a service to the Jewish Community as a whole.

The Awareness Center

Failed Messiah

The Unorthodox Jew

Not to aim and kill off the comments left by those, in my opinion, are more of an attempt to self promote their blog (or a poster trying to promote another blog)…and I don’t mind that. I enjoy reading blogs, keeps me informed of Jewish Life everyone, always good for laughs, and so I had added those blogs/sites to the list.

However, in an interest to ensure to everyone that I did not run across these blogs through my own and have come to enjoy them by myself, I had decided to make a new category for those blogs that I have run across on my own blog through promotion of that blog in a comment here.

This isn’t a slap in the face to anyone, definately not intended as such, but I wanted to make a differentiation between Blogs I read a lot and found on my own and Blogs that I have not decided about yet but I deem worthy of at least listed as a link.

And of course liquer is on the mind of most Jews when it comes to Purim.

Now depending on who you do listen to, there is a major mitzvah to get drunk, however many of our fellow Jews that this too far. When the adults become intoxicated around the children the children want in on the fun too. Many High Schools and Post HS Bais Midrashes have this issue and it becomes a worse problem every single year. How many times does hatzolah need to answer calls of emergency for excessive drunkedness? How many times are we going to let our children see what kind of animals we become when we are drunk? How many times will we allow them to go to unsupervised events? (and when unsupervised I mean a rational adult that will prevent anyone below the age of 21 to drink as well as ensure no one is allowed to drink more than becoming a little drunk)

I implore every single one of my readers to go ahead and tell your family and friends that while drinking is a mitzvah, it is more of a mitzvah to go and learn about the fact that you cannot tell the difference between Mordechai and Haman through the inner meanings of Purim instead of drinking and not realizing the difference between your bed and the cold concrete outside your home as you collapse into a drunken sleep.

Search Terms for 7 days ending 2007-02-26

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Please click on the links below and read the posts from other blogs. My comments are based upon the link and I won’t grab their text to just place onto here out of respect for my fellow bloggers (who deserve to be visited because of their writings).

Orthomom – Winter Break Worries – Orthomom hits it right on the nail about her post concerning how we should shudder and be shocked about the winter breaks that so many orthadox teens are allowed to take. Many of these teens go to Florida or to othe locales wth a group of friends, unsupervised by any adults, and all have the ability to do what they would like without answering to their parents (unless they get caught by the law). I am amazed that this goes on and that parents are willing to allow their children to go away for harmless fun during winter break…if you can call what Orthomom quotes on her site as harmless.

Jacob Da Jew writes about musar to both Secular and Hardei Israeli – Its a good laugh, you may or may not agree with the punchlines of the jokes, but I did and should be an eye opener for some.

Yid With Lid writes about his own shpiel about how he is trying to support the case in support of Orthomom due to her lawsuit. He has a lot of guts about what he is doing and if any of you are following the case and wish to be supportive please go to the link (and he is my new blogger I am reading, his blog is on the side now)

The Jewish Chronicle writes about how everyone is saying its 1938 again with concern to the Iran issue. While I can agree with it, I also disagree. I do believe that we are in a dangerous position as Jews in this world and more than ever we cannot be seen as misstepping in order to uphold the Torah, Hashem’s Honor, and the respect that the nations we live in deserve unless they seek to destroy us or cause the corruption of Hashem’s name. (this is another new blog I am reading too)

Followup Story concerning the testing problem at Brooklyn College for the Spring Semester Finals

Wanted to point out that there were several politicians who apparently were in an uproar trying to change the CUNY Test Dates because they fell out on Shavous, apparently ignoring the fact that the LAW OF NY STATE makes it mandatory to provide make up dates for religous observance.

CUNY just released a letter about this, making sure everyone knows when the make up dates are, but the fact that they were forced to do it so quickly and so publicly is absurd. I am proud that the Yeshiva World News website actually wrote at the bottom of the story (see the link) that they wondered if there was a law why was there an uproar?

Yes, why indeed? Why did Jews go ahead, make a huge bullseye on themselves, creating this uproar over the testing dates when anyone who goes to any college in NY knows that there will be and always has been make up dates for religous observances for any and all tests.

The Five Towns Jewish Times has a great editor’s article about Orthomom and the lawsuit against here. Again, we should all be supporting her in her time of need. Anonymity is one of the great things in this country along with the Freedom of Speech and needs to be protected.

The Five Towns Jewish Times

So, yes our readers, I am currently in contemplation. Well, both my Wife and I are, however it is mainly me.

As I am the primary writer here, though my wife looks over my posts and gives her very thoughtful commenting (not to say the least wondering how I get all my work done and write but I do) and we are wondering how we got this many readers.

We are very happy to see we have had over 1300 hits since the beginning of the month, and we wish to hear from any of you. The comments are open to anonymous and we are also opening up our email (marriedandjewish gmail com – you need to add the @ and . yourselves).

Once again, thank you all for coming here. As a side note, our next potion of our tech posting is almost done and will be up shortly.

New blogs I’m sharing with you all. For those of you who wonder ‘why don’t I have seperate catagories’ or ‘why do I list so many blogs’ its because I do read them and every blog I have listed is a blog I like. I don’t put up blogs I hate.

New blogs, and as always, all links are on the side of the page.

http://batya-d.livejournal.com/ – West ender Rebbetzin

http://wolfishmusings.blogspot.com/ – Wolfish Musings

http://sexybaalteshuvahsokillme.wordpress.com/ – Sexy BT

http://cutejewess.blogspot.com/ – Cute Jewess

http://rabbi-pinky.blogspot.com/ – Rabbi Pinky Schmeckelstein

http://www.jewishlady.blogspot.com/ – Jewish Lady

http://jewishbisexual.blogspot.com/ – Jewish Bisexual

http://perturbedmom.blogspot.com/ – Social Worker, Frustrated Mom

Which you can find Here

Jacob, posted the following and I felt it was worth responding to because perhaps people are reading here and thinking I am trying to force my opinion upon others, or condemning other people, or perhaps a lot of other negative things. I am not trying to do so. I am expressing my opinion about what I believe is wrong in the Orthadox circles, especially in Brooklyn. You are free to think otherwise, free to disagree, and always free to comment. However for the interest of mutal respect please do not seem, even if you did not mean to, to tell me I am wrong and I will not tell you that you are wrong. I am a big believer in that everyone has the right to have their opinion in everything, and I do mean everything.

Without further ado,

jacob Says:
February 22nd, 2007 at 2:17 pm e
Thanks for adding my blog to your links.

I agree and disagree with your post. If the reason that people are taking BC is because they went out 3 times and now want to get to know each other better, then I agree with you.

However, your logic extending ALL BC requests to the above reason is faulty. How do you know what really goes on?

Second, why the rush to have kids? Once the wife is preggers, she turns into a whole different person. She is sick for the first 3 months, then she has to pee every 5 minutes etc. Let the couple enjoy quality time without having the baby screaming in the backround. A few months is not too much.

“OR maybe go ahead and get to know one another for longer than a few months and wait on getting married?”

It is not possible to REALLY know someone until you live with them. Did you really know your wife that well before you married her?

Your idea of having couples wait longer to become married is flawed. What will they do in the meantime- look at each other and say “Gee, only 5 more months and then we can “be” together. Unless you do it the Chassidish way-not seeing each other for that period of time-in that case most definitely not getting to know each other.

Don’t tell me that you got married not to have sex. ‘Cause then you are so full of it. How long can a couple hold off without wanting to be with the other?

“You had free will to go ahead and get married now, you are not supposed to have free will to decide when and where you will have your children. Hashem is the only one that decides such things.”

I got news for you, buddy. Free will is still applicable.

In summary, I resent the fact that you pass judgment in that arrogant tone “Follow this way or you are going straight to hell”.

BTW, I personally did not use BC and now have a lovely young daughter.

And my reply

frombrooklyn Says:
February 23rd, 2007 at 4:07 am e
Jacob, sorry you think my post was sounding like “Follow this way or you are going straight to hell”

My post on my blog was specific to one particular group that is growing a lot in Brooklyn, and this more along the lines of the Yeshivish Community that is pushing to get married younger, faster, and generally tries and go to kollel route.

More than likely, I could of been more specific about who I was talking about more, however, I do feel that there are too many Jews in Brooklyn getting this heter for reasons which are not reasons at all for such a heter. The Ravs that allow this are doing a disservice to the entire Jewish Community. By allowing BC to be given out so ‘freely’ then you are telling couples they can get married, rely on BC, and spend care free time getting to know one another when they should of been given time before hand – and when I say that I enclose within those words all the reasons that are not medical, financial, or can cause problems shalom bayis.

And no, I don’t think getting pregnant immediately can cause problems with shalom bayis, because if they would, then there were other problems that caused it and the pregnancy only helped it come out.

Also, please remember, I have my opinion and you have yours. My opinion, from which I learned from my numerous Rebbeim, studies, and personal opinion of life is that you do not decide 3 things 1) life 2) money and 3) children. Hashem does. You have free will to change the mazal for all three things but in the end Hashem decides what you get. I am glad you have your own opinion and wish to express it, however do not tell me that I am wrong because my opinion is different and I will not tell you wrong because your opinion is different.

I do encourage all my readers to comment, and I throw this out to Lakewood Kollel Wife’s blog (link on side of this page) about using readers comments to post her own topics and I tip my hat to her for giving me the idea as well.

Remember, whatever your opinion about the issues that grip our Jewish fellows around the world remember that we need to be respectful of every single Jew’s opinion out there or else we tend to forget that we are supposed to be a nation together – not a nation that is engaged in tribal warfare.